“Survivor’s Guilt”*

I live in a house that I did not build.
I eat fruit that I did not plant.
I wonder where the builders and planters went wrong
to be so cursed of God.
I wonder if I, too, will eventually forget
the author of my blessings
and be cursed to watch
someone else living in my house
and eating my fruit.
I have done nothing to earn this life
but to listen and obey.
It is mine as long as I remember,
as long as I follow and love.
The second I forget or wander away,
I know my life is no longer mine.
But some days, some weeks,
the freedom is too much to bear.
I let the entitlement swallow me.
I let the guilt and the shame hold me
because I live in a house that I did not build
and eat fruit that I did not grow.

*From Deuteronomy 6

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